I had an Orange moment today. I realized how important it is to be myself.
I am Nerdy. Bookish. Sarcastic. Goofy. Sentimental. Anxious. Bubbly. Loving. Nappy-headed. Four-eyed. Quiet. Opinionated. Wordy. Passionate. Easily pleased. Easily bored. Rhythmic. Poetic. Corny. Complex. Orange.
I am Orange. I am a million characteristics I never thought I could be, or would want to be. Sometimes I think I'm pretty fly. Other times not so much.
During the 'not-so-much,' I find myself wishing I was like other people I know; über cool, focused, unique, outrageous, super-social. I don't often feel like any of those things. I feel more like the pleasant nerd. And I feel like I just want to change. . .
Social media plays a large part in this. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram tell tall tales of MTV video- worthy hangouts, people in cool clothing, and trendy, fun happenings. It could all be a load of bullsnot, but it looks amazing. It never dawns on me to assume that none of this is the majority situation, or that anything can be made to look cool with the help of a few photo editing adjustments. I just know I want to be like them, or with them. Social interaction is another culprit in this brainwash. Post-collegiate life has found me mostly at home, or work, when I work. Social gaiety is no longer a mere walk away to the student center, or maybe even an elevator ride to my favorite nook of the dorm, where my friends live. Friends now live in other cities, or if they do live here, are now caught up in the business of being employees.
So... I envy the e-World playing before my eyes in posts, tweets, and photos. And wish I knew how to be more like them. . .
Rather ridiculous when you think about it. I have a friend, whose internet life looks like total glam all the time. She admitted to me that she is struggling to pay rent, but she MUST have these overpriced shoes she saw, quoting Drake's infamous YOLO as her excuse. I remember rolling my eyes (on the inside) and thinking how crazy that sounded. But here she was, another shining example of an Internet Photo Diva. She would look FABULOUS in the shoes to be sure, but... what about rent? Risky, some may say. Stupid, I say. (Sorry boo, I still love you, but I told you it was stupid then.)
Not every cute internet persona is struggling with financial responsibility, I'm sure. However, it gave me pause long enough to realize that maybe it's exactly what it seems like; appearances. I talk to more and more of my friends about my desire to be someone else from time to time, and besides verbally b-slapping me, they remind me that it's not so glitz and glam for them either. People who I think of as absolutely fantastic, creative, amazing souls are struggling to accept themselves and find peace in this world, as much as I am.
This revelation helps when I need a healthy dose of reality. But there's something more that I think of.
I have a friend who told me she looks up to me. I eyeballed her skeptically, since we're nearly the same age. What did she have to look up to? And when she explained herself, I nearly cried. Little nerdy, bookish, weirdo, orange me was someone she wanted to emulate. WHAT? Besides the sentiment of the moment, I thought about what it meant to have her say that. While I am busy wishing I had it like someone else, there were people who wish they had it like me. Like ME! My style, my words, my likes and dislikes, my ambitions, my flaws, my actions inspired others.
I'm still blown.
It's a good reminder, though not for egotistical reasons. Ok. . . maybe for a few egotistical reasons. However, knowing that I make a difference to someone else, is extremely life-changing. Maybe I am cool. Maybe I'm more of the things I wish I could be. Chances are that I am. Chances are that you are too.
Chances are that sometimes we just need to see ourselves through someone else's eyes.
So. . . don't worry about that extra fly-guy with the Kanye hair cut, and the latest Jordans. Don't worry if you don't have tribal nail-art down to a T and wish you were more artistic. Just be you. You might be the best thing to happen to somebody else.
Peace.
I am Nerdy. Bookish. Sarcastic. Goofy. Sentimental. Anxious. Bubbly. Loving. Nappy-headed. Four-eyed. Quiet. Opinionated. Wordy. Passionate. Easily pleased. Easily bored. Rhythmic. Poetic. Corny. Complex. Orange.
I am Orange. I am a million characteristics I never thought I could be, or would want to be. Sometimes I think I'm pretty fly. Other times not so much.
During the 'not-so-much,' I find myself wishing I was like other people I know; über cool, focused, unique, outrageous, super-social. I don't often feel like any of those things. I feel more like the pleasant nerd. And I feel like I just want to change. . .
Social media plays a large part in this. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram tell tall tales of MTV video- worthy hangouts, people in cool clothing, and trendy, fun happenings. It could all be a load of bullsnot, but it looks amazing. It never dawns on me to assume that none of this is the majority situation, or that anything can be made to look cool with the help of a few photo editing adjustments. I just know I want to be like them, or with them. Social interaction is another culprit in this brainwash. Post-collegiate life has found me mostly at home, or work, when I work. Social gaiety is no longer a mere walk away to the student center, or maybe even an elevator ride to my favorite nook of the dorm, where my friends live. Friends now live in other cities, or if they do live here, are now caught up in the business of being employees.
So... I envy the e-World playing before my eyes in posts, tweets, and photos. And wish I knew how to be more like them. . .
Rather ridiculous when you think about it. I have a friend, whose internet life looks like total glam all the time. She admitted to me that she is struggling to pay rent, but she MUST have these overpriced shoes she saw, quoting Drake's infamous YOLO as her excuse. I remember rolling my eyes (on the inside) and thinking how crazy that sounded. But here she was, another shining example of an Internet Photo Diva. She would look FABULOUS in the shoes to be sure, but... what about rent? Risky, some may say. Stupid, I say. (Sorry boo, I still love you, but I told you it was stupid then.)
Not every cute internet persona is struggling with financial responsibility, I'm sure. However, it gave me pause long enough to realize that maybe it's exactly what it seems like; appearances. I talk to more and more of my friends about my desire to be someone else from time to time, and besides verbally b-slapping me, they remind me that it's not so glitz and glam for them either. People who I think of as absolutely fantastic, creative, amazing souls are struggling to accept themselves and find peace in this world, as much as I am.
This revelation helps when I need a healthy dose of reality. But there's something more that I think of.
I have a friend who told me she looks up to me. I eyeballed her skeptically, since we're nearly the same age. What did she have to look up to? And when she explained herself, I nearly cried. Little nerdy, bookish, weirdo, orange me was someone she wanted to emulate. WHAT? Besides the sentiment of the moment, I thought about what it meant to have her say that. While I am busy wishing I had it like someone else, there were people who wish they had it like me. Like ME! My style, my words, my likes and dislikes, my ambitions, my flaws, my actions inspired others.
I'm still blown.
It's a good reminder, though not for egotistical reasons. Ok. . . maybe for a few egotistical reasons. However, knowing that I make a difference to someone else, is extremely life-changing. Maybe I am cool. Maybe I'm more of the things I wish I could be. Chances are that I am. Chances are that you are too.
Chances are that sometimes we just need to see ourselves through someone else's eyes.
So. . . don't worry about that extra fly-guy with the Kanye hair cut, and the latest Jordans. Don't worry if you don't have tribal nail-art down to a T and wish you were more artistic. Just be you. You might be the best thing to happen to somebody else.
Peace.
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