November is for Space Making

My response to @brownkids speaking on cleaning closets and making space.

I have stuff for the person I was, taking up space from the things that speak to who I am now. 

I follow this Instagram account @brownkids, This young woman Roe chronicles the life lessons of her and her husband E. Yesterday she posted about cleaning out her closet. And when I tell you we were on the same wavelength? Because I was definitely doing that same thing with my Saturday. And I commented on it. Evidently my comment touched a person or two and Roe pointed out that November can absolutely be a month of space making.  (by the way... go follow them. Dope account.)

So I thought I'd spend November talking about that. Making space. Letting go of who I've been. Opening up to who I am.

Where do I start? I guess I can start with the papers I've recently thrown out.

Old scripts. Classroom Activities. Meeting notes. Fliers and notes for unsuccessful entrepreneurial attempts. They all whispered my old indentities to me. They called out. "Don't leave us. How will people know what you are about? How will You know? You can't start over. You're too old. You need us. You owe us."

No I don't.

Here I was, holding on to papers, folders, binders, for a life that hasn't felt like mine in almost a year. Clinging to them like a security blanket "just in case." I was clinging to them in fear, to be honest. I knew the truth though. There wouldn't be a just in case. Even just holding them in my hands they felt heavy and tiresome. They weren't just a security blanket against the unknown. They were a silent reprimand of my past plans gone astray; a reminder of the woman I didn't find any success in being. But I don't have to hold on to that story.  I'm not Her anymore.

There is a freer, lighter, newer, undiscovered Me waiting for space to come out. I want to be good to Her. She doesn't deserve the shackles of old identities. She is indebted to no label.

I released the papers.

I don't have anything new to put in their place either. I'm not in a rush to fill my shelves with more stuff. Right now I'm just contemplating the sweetness of the emptied space.

Have you ever taken a deep breath in a completely empty room and felt calm and refreshed? Yeah... It's like that. The emptiness is full of potential and the promise of absolutely anything.
Its been a long time since I've felt optimism in this unlabeled stillness.

In the emptiness we can become anything.